CHALLENGE EVERYDAY BIGOTRY

Confront everyday bigotry. This goes so much further than a retweet or a post to your Instagram story. Look for it on your commute, in the street, during police encounters or with family, friends and coworkers. If you see racism in your daily life, calmly and carefully step in and use your privilege to shield others. If it isn’t physically safe to do so and not just because you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, document it with your phone and do what you can to help afterwards. Never let bigoted behaviour go unchecked or you’re allowing it to manifest and spread. 

Challenging those close to you, especially family, is never easy, but completely necessary. It’s exasperating having to explain to other adults why they should care about other people, you're supposed to learn that as a child. But do it so other (already exhausted) people don’t have to. 

Here are some responses to the usual ‘excuses’…

“They’re just old, that’s just how things were back then.”

If they can learn to use an iPad they can learn not to be a bigot, simple as. Ask them if they’d like to be treated the way marginalised people have been treated past and present. Ask them to validate their prejudices not with rhetoric or hearsay but with facts. Ask how other peoples skin colour, who they date or sleep with, religion, gender or lifestyle affects their life in any way whatsoever.  The vast majority of the time it doesn’t, ask why they care so much about this one thing that doesn’t affect them and not about things that do (such as someone in the family treating their partner badly or committing a crime such as drink driving.) Highlighting hypocrisy will make them angry and desperate to convince themselves they’re not, which will lead to them examining their morals and behaviour.

Discuss with more progressive family or friends in the group and agree never to let it slide. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an argument every time, firmly and calmly telling them not to say that again following a snide comment, use of a slur, or 'joke', works. 

If family or friends are willing to let things slide, ask them why they’re making excuses for the person. If it’s because it's an uncomfortable conversation to have, point out how cowardly that is. Unfortunately, many people have to witness or experience an issue first hand to admit it’s a problem, so draw a line between the oppression they’re re-enforcing and someone in your life who has suffered because of it. 

“They don’t know any better.”

Educate. Foster a platform between political divides and generational gaps in the calmest, most rational way you can. I am in no way saying allow them to spout hate speech, conversation and debate should never be a platform for this. The people in your daily life have likely been indoctrinated by the hack ‘journalists,’ celebrities and media outlets they look to for news. People and companies who have given a platform to hate and fear-mongers such as Piers Morgan, Nigel Farage, Alex Jones and Ben Shapiro are a huge part of the problem and also need to be fought. 

They prey on people easily manipulated by a belief that 'free speech' is under threat, feel isolated in their worldview now that what's deemed unacceptable behaviour has changed for the better (often solidified and perpetuated by toxic online communities) and that those in power are silencing them for an ulterior motive at their expense. Opening up a conversation about this is hard, here’s how ex Westboro Baptist Church member Megan Phelps-Rope explains her experience as part of an extremely isolated group and the polarising conversations on twitter that eventually de-radicalised her. 

Ground News is an app and website that aims to break down political news bubbles by exposing how media bias shapes our understanding of news. An excellent way of unpicking the bullshit peddled by the 5 billionaires who own more than 80% of our media in the UK. The app allows readers to compare news stories across different sources and flags where reporting outlets land on the political spectrum, plus any conflicts of interest.

Of course this type of emotional labour is hard to do when you know they’re unlikely to reach out to you in the same way, but again, do the work so others don’t have to. 

“They had a bad experience.”

Listen then dismantle. Anxious brains cling to the familiar stories we tell ourselves, no matter how warped or one-sided. Ask them about the experience if they bring it up and do your best to listen in a calm way. Talking over them (no matter how much they butt in or don’t listen when you talk) won’t be productive and all that will happen is they’ll tighten their grip and you’ll be annoyed. Whatever experience they’ve had with one person does not represent a whole community of people in any way whatsoever, highlight this with other examples and analogies relating to their daily lives. 

Obviously there comes a point where they’re so hell-bent in their beliefs and refuse to listen, and that feels as if there’s little you can do. There are plenty of ways to pull them down to a point where they'll listen; be as vocal about your (correct) mindset as they are about theirs if they don’t respond to a rational conversation, ask other peers they might respond better to to try that conversation again instead of you, use facts and statistics over first-hand accounts if they’re incapable of empathy, bring up topics while with a group of peers they respect but will have the same attitude as you. 

“It’s just a joke”

Ask them to explain it to you. Acting as though you don’t get it is more effective than asking why it’s funny. It's more difficult to shrug it off as you being a ’snowflake’ or ‘too sensitive.’ Doing this forces them to dissect and realise their own prejudice mindset, even better if it’s in a setting where there’s no one there to laugh it off with them.